How to choose your first adult toy

A question I'm asked at every show is "What toy should I get?" The answer is always the same: you have to pick the toy that's right for you. The next step for me is to talk to each woman about her needs and expectations. If you're considering getting a toy, getting another toy, or the toys you've chosen just aren't clicking for you, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself.

Do I want an innie or an outie?

There are a variety of reasons why you might not want a penetrating toy. If you want an "outie" then one good choice for you might be a bullet (sometimes called an egg). Vibrators like bullets are used to stimulate the clitoris and can also be used on the nipples or other erongenous zones (think fingertips, earlobes, toes...). TT has a wide selection of external toys. Two of my best selling external toys are the Microbullet and the Silicone Baby Bunny.

"Innie" toys have a shaft element, sometimes realistic and sometimes sleek. Innie toys may include an attached external stimulator; I call these "duo-stim" toys. The most popular of these is a "rabbit" style vibe. Not every innie toy has that duo stim. Passionate Fury is one example of a shaft style "innie" toy.

If I want an innie, how big an innie do I want?

Size doesn't always matter but it can be an important criterion when choosing a toy. Our girthiest toy is Blue Thunder so if you want it big, that's what you might want. The Lovers Wand is one of our slimmest toys (and can be used internally or externally). Rockin Rabbit and Love Bug are among our most popular toys (and are my two best selling toys). Both are duo-stim toys that are a pleasant size for new toy owners. The best way to see the sizes is to host a show.

Do I want a toy we can use together?

A c-ring is a great choice for a couples toy. Many are hands-free (like Dolphin Kiss). Find a toy that will work for your intimate situations. Will you want to control the vibrations of the toy? Will your partner?

What if my partner doesn't want to use toys together or gives me grief about a toy?

If your partner is concerned about bringing a toy into the bedroom, remind him or her that there's no replacement for the intimacy you share and that "romance enhancement" is the name of the game. You'll have to determine your personal situation about your partner's comfort level about your using a toy together or alone. If your partner is uncertain about your having a toy, maybe test the waters with a massage-style vibe (like Simplicity) and only do sensual massages with the toy. If your potential toy use distresses your partner, the #1 approach is communication. Be open and honest about your needs and desires.

Vibrators are as common in households as blenders and coffeemakers and no one else need know there's a vibrator in your home.

I already have (specific toy). What should I get next?

Ask yourself if you love that toy. How would you feel if it vaporized overnight? Would you rush to replace it, bid it a fond farewell, or be grateful it's gone? If you love that toy, you can try a variation on it (if you have a Hare Raiser, maybe try a Pink Passion). If the toy is your Precious -- the One True Toy -- supplement it with something new and different.

Ask your distributor what toys she recommends. Ask what toys are her top sellers. What do women come back and tell her about? Ask what women come in to order, saying, "My friend loves her ___!"

Ordering online is fun and browsing in the privacy of your home, in your jammies in the wee hours is awesome. When you're ready for personalized service and discreet consultations, ask for a Tasteful Treasures distributor near you or go ahead and drop me a note at TT x Stephanie @ gmail.com. You don't have to have a party to place an order (but damn if those aren't fun parties to have).